Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day(s)
I am Alexander right now, only in my Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Days its all my fault and actual bad stuff happens.
Backstory: The title is from a children’s book about Alexander, who has a terrible day where all the little things go wrong- gum in his hair, middle seat in carpool, cavities at the dentist’s, etc. At the end, though he realizes his family loves him and its all going to be ok. He doesn’t really have to move to Australia.
My version: After a pretty good week, and a really great weekend, I face the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Days. Monday morning starts going deceptively pretty well. I’m driving an early shift but not so early I can’t still eat breakfast and drop off my car to get inspected. My sister is maybe coming to town to see Harry Potter with me. Then, at the last loop of my bus route, I take a gentle turn too close to the edge of a barrier at a construction site. I take out one of the lights on the back door, but its ok. I feel like a big idiot, but the sup and police tell me its all going to be fine. I keep it together, don’t cry and manage everything. The rest of the day is just kind of boring and low key. Then today, Tuesday, I get up at 430 to shower and go to work at 515. I’m driving an older bus, and at first I forget to take the morning detour through JPA instead of the Stadium, but its not a huge fuck up. Then the sup gets on to do a post-accident re-test. She rides along with me for a while, then tells me she’ll be getting off at the stadium. After making the stadium ramp stop, I turn in and somehow miss seeing a car. I see it in my mirror as it and the bus collide. I say shit and start to cry and can’t stop for a long time.
I mean, who gets into two accidents in two days? Who gets into her second while taking the post-accident re-test for the first? I’d think that’s an automatic fail there. I asked if I was getting fired, and they said no, but I’m still worried they might fire me. Then I’d be really screwed. Out $60 for a special new liscence and having to find a job mid summer would be the worst. Even so, I lost hours this week because when you hit a car or two things in two days, they open your blocks for the next two days. Plus you get to take a super fun drug test and breathalizer. Even though I know I’m clean, its worrying to me that I could make two such important mistakes in a row. I consoled myself after Monday that now I would be super careful and would never have an accident again. Then, BAM!
Fuck my life man. Last summer was pretty depressing and lame, but I didn’t blow most of my savings or get into two accidents in two days. I hope all this stuff resolves itself soon, and the universe finds someone else to torture.
